Monday, October 8, 2007

IBS

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! I almost can't believe I'm blogging about IBS, but then again I can't believe I haven't already! So Kacey suggested a little blurb about IBS to get me out of my drought. For those of you who don't know what IBS stands for ... it is Irritable Bowel Syndrome. I totally just got the giggles.

I actually LOVE the name of this unfortunate disorder. The Bowel part of the title really isn't even that bad. Anything that begins with Irritable and ends with Syndrome is going to be BAD! Sometimes you have a problem that just doesn't sound very awful, like being lactose intolerant. Intolerant? A Junior High School teacher was once intolerant of me, big deal, we all got over it. Not being able to abide within the same space as a milk product without cleansing your very soul is NOT being intolerant ... it's a plethora of syndromes! So I love how well represented the IBS title is.

Let's see, I was diagnosed with IBS several years ago. But as I think back on my life and my experiences within the walls of the stalls ... I just think I was born with it. I guess I thought everybody was like me, until I found out they weren't. So what exactly is IBS? Well it can manifest itself in two different ways, but both will leave you praying for relief (or a more instant death) accompanied by a cold sweat and some goosebumps.



Here is a typical scenario from the life and times with my partner ... IBS.

I'm going for a nice drive out to Julie's house. La la la, nice drive, radio playing some Barry Manilow, the sun is going down, anxious to see baby Kristi, la la la ... then it begins. The slow churning as if butter was being made in my innards and I find myself slumping over the steering wheel trying to maintain a very still atmosphere that surrounds me. I turn off the radio, turn off the air-conditioner and demand a perfect silence from anyone nearby. I think to myself that maybe it'll just go away, but I've been here before and I know that there is only one ending to this story. I call Julie on the phone and I let her know, in a very recognizable IBS tone that she is to have her front door open, and everyone out of the bathroom because I AM COMING! I run through her house (which was really risky now that I think about it) and I find my throne. I begin praying/moaning and I notice the TV being turned up louder (good call). Visions of delivering all five of my children at once RUN through my head and I know that I am yet again on a mission. Soon the mission is accomplished, and I dab the moisture from my upper lip and forehead. I take a few deep breaths and I'm good to go.

It's not fun, and I've actually found some medication that does wonders (thanks to Kacey for running it down the hall to me when she hears me call), but it's not life threatening, it doesn't make me lose my hair and it could just be so much worse. Don't we all have some kind of irritable syndrome in our lives? I choose to think so. This is one of mine.

OK everybody ... don't be shy - what are yours?

P.S. I totally posed for that picture.

8 comments:

AmyK said...

I have SPIS ... stupid people irritable syndrom ... which is includes but is not limited to people who let their children let out shrill screams in the row behind me throughout the entire 3rd grade music program. Take the brat out already!!

Anonymous said...

Your story is so goood. It is nothing to laugh about, but you had me going. Ha Ha...I can very much relate. I've been there quit a few times myself. Remember those blue chewable tabs I gave you to try? Did you try them? If so, sorry they didn't work for you. I chewed one every day for about 1 year, (don't need them but once in awhile now, when I THINK I may be starting to have a problem) They cured me, I have no more IBS syndrome or should I say, I haven't had any major problems in over a year. Love that chewable. It works for me. I also eat a yogurt cup with fruit every morning, I think that helps also.
Love you,mom Shaker

Tina McKinnon said...

I remember that teacher and situation!!!! You were a stinker... but HE was a jerk! haha (blast from the past!) funny... Well, from your discription, apparently I must also share the 'syndrome'! Ugh! Ok, what is your medicine, and what is the blue chewable?
Good post!!!
xox
MOM

Anonymous said...

My irritable syndrome is WRINKLES, looking old. I hate it. Sunday, I thought I was alone in the bedroom, I was looking in the mirror and talking to myself saying, "God I hate my wrinkled old looking face, I hate getting old, but I guess it is better the no face at all", then I heard this big laugh, my Vinnie was standing in the doorway and he heard and saw it all. He has repeated this to just about everyone, so I guess I can say it here. I bet there are a few of you out there that feel the same, right? One thing I can say is "I don't feel as old as I look", most of the time, anyway. I do have my days.

Blue chewable is "Digestive Advantage Once Daily Irritable Bowel Syndrome". You buy this over the counter.

Anonymous said...

Remember that one time you came to visit i think it was mike's wedding and your bathroom was never the same after i left it??? i share your syndrome :( and it always happens at the worst moments! like on a date... again that happened to me. Anne-Marie

melmck said...

Don't all the McKinnon's have IBS? I was under that assumption since the day I married in. Actually, since the day Robby and I got engaged.

ps. Gracie doesn't appreciate you making light of her 'lactose intolerance.' she's givin you the look right now and i'd apologize if i were you. she's got long fingernails right now.

Anonymous said...

Hm - must be a family thing, probably from the Morris side since I should be included, too. C

Kacey said...

gross