I'm trying to come back ... really I am.

So you're wondering where I've been eh? Well I've been on an extended visit to a place called Stressland. Maybe you've been there? I don't know if I remember how to write. Surely I've forgotten how to spell. I feel the titanium plate in my head morphing into it's own little robot trying to make an escape far away from my crazy brain. Maybe writing more will help me escape things as well.

Things that have happened since I last posted:

I can no longer wear contact lenses ... the ole' eyes are too darn ... old. In fact, my new bi-focals are waiting for me to pick up at Walmart. Old I tell you!

I graduated from Elementary School! That's right. All of my children are either in Junior High, High School or College ... or working full-time and recording a CD. I'm super proud of them all and I'm happy to be done with Elementary Orchestra concerts ... the agony!

Gary is gone a lot. I only saw him one day last month, but it was a really good day.

I am working full time, which I have already been doing for the past two years, but now I am doing a lot of training and going into "my office" a lot more because I enjoy acting important.

I am also trying to pretend that I am Gary's bookkeeper and Accountant.
P.S. I've never made it past MA087.

I have a new calling in Church which places me in the position to advise a hand full of girls ages 14 - 16 years old. Last week we took a little trip to the lake and had a lovely sleepover and tonight they will come to my house to make cupcakes from scratch. This is where I start to pretend that I can bake. And they are dying to hear my oldest son sing to them in person! So cute!

As Kacey mentioned, we are knee deep in football season. Every Monday I get to take lunch down to some of the Varsity players so that they can eat and watch film clips of other sweaty football players during lunch. Tonight is Keaton's first scrimmage, but I will be making cupcakes and trying to forget what I am missing. Jake's practices finally moved from five days a week down to two days a week, but we missed certification because my aforementioned brain forgot to tell me that this was going on while I had my girls at the lake. Next Friday will be Keaton's first game and Saturday will be Jake's ... I will just sleep in red and blue on Friday night and be ready first thing Saturday morning.

My car has been breaking down a couple times a month ... but she's runnin' now! During one of my broken down times, I borrowed a friend's car. During this time, I left nearly all of my groceries in the trunk (milk, corn on the cob, avocados) for a 24-hour period of 114 degree weather. I'm not sure I've been forgiven yet, and I had to go grocery shopping twice.

My washing machine broke ... but it's runnin now!

The leak in my roof still leaks as it has for about six years now. But I've placed the bowl directly under the spot that is taking down the ceiling, and now I can enjoy the Monsoon if it ever comes.

My back door knob kept breaking. We have an ugly industrial strength one now that will live forever I'm afraid.

Keaton just texted me to let me know what his number on his jersey will be tonight ... now I am going to cry.

Many little things seem to add up to my little place I call Stressland. I'm trying different types of breathing techniques, which often duplicate the look of intense labor pains. I'm trying to cope.

My kids have been brilliant.

Today I stopped by the cemetery and found that it was irrigation day. I rolled up my pants, hopped out of the car, got Julie on the phone and had a relaxing visit with Kristi. I need these moments more often ...

Where in the world is Karen Shaker?

Hello fellow bloggers. Some of you may remember Karen Shaker. A long long time ago, she used to blog about her life. Unfortunately, she has found herself far too busy to communicate with the outside world. Luckily- she has a daughter that knows her password. Allow me to update you on the life of Karen.

Karen's husband, Gary, has been out of town for weeks at a time working very hard to support their family. So she is holding down the fort alone.

Matt, Karen's oldest son is now 22 years old. He is doing great working as a CSR.

His band and his music are really progressing!
And we trimmed his mullet. 
Kacey, Karen's first and only daughter is 20 and loving life. 
She has been practicing her homemaking skills and has just received her AA degree. She is also doing great with her photography! (Kacey's View)

Keaton, Karen's middle child, turned 18 years old this summer! He is preparing for his last year of high school football. This saddens Karen. For she lives to watch her boy play. 
Keaton now drives himself to school for his senior year!
Jake, the 13 year old boy genius, is still doing well with piano and taking care of his chickens. He just started 8th grade and is beaming with self confidence!
Little Red, Garrison, is now 12. He was given the Priesthood by his father and he just started junior high! He is adjusting well and having a lot of fun being a kid.

Karen should return shortly.... she has many things she is so excited to tell you! Like her new washer and dryer... her new desk... her new calling... her new hair cut.... AND we have a mouse!

VOTE! VOTE! VOTE for ASHLEY!

This is my little friend Ashley. Her family lives around the corner from me and I was her teacher in church! I love Ashley! She has tried out for this show four times as she has chased her dream of dance.

She says that tonight, she needs our help. Please check your local listings for Fox's So You Think You Can Dance ...

and VOTE FOR ASHLEY!

It's late ... and it's dark ~

It's after midnight and I was just enjoying my late night television while I was listening to the nice, stormy weather we're having ... when all of the sudden I hear a zing and a pop followed by a bright light outside of my bedroom window followed by two more zings, pops and blinding lights.

I sat straight up in my bed (fully encompassed by the same sort of metal that I'm sure was used in the Benjamin Franklin/kite incident) and I wondered if I had just been through a near death experience involving lightening OR if I dared move since my bed was obviously not great for electrical storms.

Jake & Garrison were fast asleep, Keaton was sleeping in a tent at his friends house, but I soon heard Kacey yell from the other room ...

"I'm pretty sure I'm TERRIFIED!"

And then I heard Matthew complaining that Petey (the dog) could not sleep without air conditioning.

So I grabbed my coal miner's head lamp that rests on the metal post of my dangerous bed (doesn't everybody have one of these JUST for situations this catastrophic?) and I decided to put some clothes on before going out to explore my surroundings.



Matthew came out with me, and even though we could see that the whole street was dark, we began to test the breakers ... just in case everybody else's power was out because of the freaky power surge that I beheld, but OUR house would only be a slight breaker problem. No such luck. However, in the process of flipping said breaker switches, I'm pretty sure we caused some permanent damage and I'm now waiting to see if we will be the only ones left without power because we had to go messin' with switches in an electrical storm!

There was a small fire in the ally behind our house. Fire trucks have been nearby, as well as the electric company. The last truck just left our ally and I think he forgot to finish the job ... because alas we are still in the dark.

All of our cell phones need to be charged, and a feeling of being not-so-prepared has come over me like a soggy wet blanket. Then I saw something. I saw a little blue light shining like a beacon in the night. It was coming from my computer! My computer is backed up by battery! YES! I now have access to the outside world for at least 45 minutes! Should I try to reach someone? Should I try to find help for all of my frozen food that has begun the thawing process? Should I quickly learn Morse Code just in case I am left with only my head lamp to communicate with? No. I should blog.

I really need to work on my priorities.

I think it's going to be a long night.

Update: It is now 1:55 a.m. While all of this was going on, a white truck full of blond girls came by and generously delivered some toilet paper all over our lawn and trees. How did they know that we needed this?

The street was all lit again ... except for my lone house. I had to call my father-in-law across the street, who woke up my brother-in-law the electrician ... and they have temporarily fixed the aforementioned breaker. I don't think it was our fault.

While I was traipsing around pretending to be an electrical engineer, I stepped on a tiny piece of glass that is now lodged in my brittle heel because I hate shoes.

My new goal; learn to love shoes.

I was right. Long night.

Boys will be boys ...

Garrison: "Mom! We found a dead lizard, so we decided to dissect it! We cut it open and it was filled with maggots ... so now we're going to go blow it up with a firecracker!"

Me: Covering my mouth and trying not to vomit at the visualization I was just given.

Oh gosh.

On your mark ... get set ... SAVE ~

Thanks Erin! I just found out about this super savin' blog ... and I like it ... so I'm sharing it.

Click away!

I'm a Skyper ~

So I just downloaded my free Skype. I'm a Skyper. I would like to Skype, but I don't know any other Skypers. Do you Skype? Download your free Skype, and let's start a Skyping club.

P.S. I have no idea how to Skype.