Monday, September 27, 2010

Good vs. Evil ...

So tonight, I drove right past the Jack In The Box and I pulled into the gym. It was family night, and all four of us were determined to find some happy endorphins. Now that we're home and I hear my boys giggling instead of quarreling ... I think Racquetball may have done the trick.

However, I was not feeling very happy while I was in the process of accumulating those happy endorphins. Not because I was all sweaty or out of breath, but because somebody in the vicinity of my "work-out" was full of much more than an endorphin of any kind. That's right. One of the fellow members of our gym was incredibly flatulent this evening.

The first time my sensitive nose picked up on that familiar scent, I thought "oh my ... somebody must be awfully embarrassed right now". But as time passed, as well as much more gas, I realized that they weren't embarrassed at all and that they were just downright rude. It became my mission to narrow down the culprit and then I would know who to stay away from at future visits.

As my suspects each moved on to other pieces of equipment, and as the unpleasant whiffs continued, at last it was between two people ... one on my left side and one on my right. The young man on my left was jogging up a storm and I thought that this could certainly "stir things up". While the woman on my right was at a steady stroll the entire time and didn't really look the part of a tooter.

Well, the young man left and the smell lived on. It was the lady ... and I use that term loosely! She had a long, long braid down her back and at this point I was wondering if she was actually part pony ... it would have explained a lot. This woman was not healthy, and I was glad that she was trying to partake of some sort of wellness. But I'm here to tell you, from the smell of things ... she had a long way to go.

You're probably all wondering why I didn't just move. Well, because that's not how I roll. I was irritated and I had to get to the "bottom of things"! I thought that there were some unwritten rules about flatulence. The first of which being that you never stick around the scene of the crime man! Move along and create some kind of diversion! Maybe she was taught otherwise.

Anyway, I didn't let it stop me and it made me appreciate the Sweet Cinnamon Pumpkin candles that I had waiting for me at home. Family Home Evening lesson ... opposition in all things. Those candles never smelled so darn good. There's no place like home.


Kacey's View said...

hahahahahahahahahahaha SO sad Karl and I couldn't join you. Maybe you should get a 'pear' candle mom.

Kacey's View said...

i mean pair? you get the idea

iMe2 said...

Great Works! - Friends Connect -

Julie Mooney said...

That lady broke all the rules. Seriously, I can't believe you stuck around, oh ye of sensitive airways. You're just as sick as she is. Ha!