Snow White ~

While the rest of the country is still shivering and layered, it's barefoot weather around here ... and I love it.

This is the weather that we are known for. The weather that sucks in all of the winter visitors from Wisconsin, Minnesota and Saskatchewan with their dare devil attempts to try with all of their silver-haired might to turn right from the far left lane of any given highly populated highway. Yep, this is the best.

Alas, it is temporary. This weather is just a warning of what is around the corner. That's right. An Arizona Summer. Toasty!

Every year at about this time, I reflect. No, I don't mean that I reminisce. I mean that I actually reflect a bright and shiny light to distant mountain tops off of my pasty white legs. Rudolph has nothing on me!

My entire life, I have been envious of the olive complected people. That glorious natural bronzing that I've only read about in books, but have never experienced. When I was younger, Kristi and I used to "lay out" ... or in other words "grill" ourselves to a perfect shade of pink, and then we'd take turns peeling each other after the blisters would dry.

When I was in Junior High School, I came up with this genius idea to wear pantyhose during P.E. When friends would ask if I was wearing nylons, I would lie and look at them like they were ridiculous. "Who in the world would do such a thing?" "My legs just naturally shimmer and for some reason feel like fabric." Wow. I was cool.

Then came this magic in a bottle! Never before had I been so enthused about a purchase! I rubbed that stuff on ... and on ... and on ... my palms were stained for years and my socks were all orange. So cool was I!

Needless to say, being tan just isn't in the cards for me. But tonight, after I thought I had exhausted all of my clever tanning efforts ... I thought of one more idea.



I like the shade of this band-aid! What if I just cover my pasty ole' legs with this perfectly flexible tan! Yep ... I'm still cool.

Any great fake tanning tips?