Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Snow White ~

While the rest of the country is still shivering and layered, it's barefoot weather around here ... and I love it.

This is the weather that we are known for. The weather that sucks in all of the winter visitors from Wisconsin, Minnesota and Saskatchewan with their dare devil attempts to try with all of their silver-haired might to turn right from the far left lane of any given highly populated highway. Yep, this is the best.

Alas, it is temporary. This weather is just a warning of what is around the corner. That's right. An Arizona Summer. Toasty!

Every year at about this time, I reflect. No, I don't mean that I reminisce. I mean that I actually reflect a bright and shiny light to distant mountain tops off of my pasty white legs. Rudolph has nothing on me!

My entire life, I have been envious of the olive complected people. That glorious natural bronzing that I've only read about in books, but have never experienced. When I was younger, Kristi and I used to "lay out" ... or in other words "grill" ourselves to a perfect shade of pink, and then we'd take turns peeling each other after the blisters would dry.

When I was in Junior High School, I came up with this genius idea to wear pantyhose during P.E. When friends would ask if I was wearing nylons, I would lie and look at them like they were ridiculous. "Who in the world would do such a thing?" "My legs just naturally shimmer and for some reason feel like fabric." Wow. I was cool.

Then came this magic in a bottle! Never before had I been so enthused about a purchase! I rubbed that stuff on ... and on ... and on ... my palms were stained for years and my socks were all orange. So cool was I!

Needless to say, being tan just isn't in the cards for me. But tonight, after I thought I had exhausted all of my clever tanning efforts ... I thought of one more idea.

I like the shade of this band-aid! What if I just cover my pasty ole' legs with this perfectly flexible tan! Yep ... I'm still cool.

Any great fake tanning tips?


Julie said...

Oh my dear sister. You and I are one in the same on this matter. I remember rubbing Wesson Baking Oil all over my body and laying out with Jenny Eaton on their roof. Holy STUPID! What in Hell was I thinking. I remember going to stay with Grandma Reilly and having to put cold washclothes all over my legs and arms just to keep that stingy itch away. Please don't let my daughter be as stupid as I was. No tips lady. I do like your band aid shade. It's perfect. Let me know what you find out?

'Garrett's mom' said...

Hahahahahhahahahahhaaha oh I love you and miss you Karen!!! I would drive all the way up there to a FHE at the park just to see you with band-aid's all over.

Kacey's View said...

hahaha OOOOH BOY...... Your legs look a little less white than normal. I think you're still cheating. Albinos for life!

Becky said...

Nylons during PE...still laughing...

Anonymous said...

Karen...you crack me up. always. I so relate to everything you said. I did it all too...well, except the pantyhose during PE...BUT, I was a cheerleader and LOVED wearing my pantyhose with my outfit b/c it hid my true skin color. Kristi always told that story about you all laying out...I laughed then, and still laugh now. I did that too...except with Crisco as my suntan lotion, and I was insistent about laying out on our black driveway, b/c surely the sun was stronger there!! I peeled myself all summer long...every summer!

Anonymous said...

oh yeah...and i am still waiting for the day when it REALLY is cool to be snow white...I keep thinking one summer it will be the new trend...please, oh please, let it be soon!