Sunday, May 30, 2010

It's a gamble ...

As my kids grow up, I find myself perplexed! Part of me will always be the mother of my wee ones, and part of me is having adult conversations with the wee ones who now shave ... it's weird.

This weekend, Matthew's girlfriend turned 21-years-old. It's a big birthday! They thought it would be fun to go check out a casino to show off her "legalness" with a little bit of gambling.

I remember when I turned 18. I chose to go see my first Rated R movie ... and drink a Pepsi because I was an adult! Between the caffeine and Rambo, I was an official rebel and I soon moved out of the house only to continue to make other stupid decisions. It's what some young adults do.

But I sure didn't share these stupid experiences with my parents ... until they were grandparents and had moved onto their next level of parenting ... I thought that's how it worked.

So when Matthew asked me and Gary to go with them to the casino ... I was completely torn right down the middle confused!

My first thought was to lecture him on the evils of gambling and how people lose everything near and dear to them as they sit at the slot machines ... and they all smoke and dress badly ... "Don't ever smoke, Matthew!"

Oh no! I had failed as a parent indeed ...
he wants to gamble,
and wear polyester!

My second thought (which came to me before the first thought took a complete leave of absence) was how flattered I was that my adult kids wanted to play with their parents! I was honored that they even wanted to be seen with a couple of rebellious has-beens! Honored I tell you! And then I had to remind myself that my first-born is now 22-years-old, living on his own, and making his own good decisions ... of course we would accompany him! What would I wear?!

Gary has played poker with his Dad since he was a little tyke. They play across the street every Tuesday night and it was high time to pass on some of this familial tradition. Father & son sitting at a green felt table passing on the knowledge of the fathers that came before them (Gary had different forefathers than I).

Matthew made sure that I knew he had been taught some fine values at home ... and that he was very cheap. He brought with him the $20 that they would have spent at the movies and that was all they would experience with.

We had a great night. We played some cards, we had a nice dinner and fun conversation ... adult conversation ... with my wee one who shaves (sometimes).

I am no longer perplexed. I was glad that we went. While I don't admonish gambling away resources that are necessary to thrive on, I do believe that parenting is a gamble. You do the best that you can in the short time that you have and then you step back and watch the chips fall where they may ... hoping and praying with every ounce of your being that you did something right that will produce a good and productive human being.

And you relish being invited to witness any of it!


Tina said...

Great post! You're doing great parenting, too! xox

Gail said...

Good perspective, thanks for sharing. They will ALWAYS be our wee ones:).